Second Coming

By G. W. Thomas

"Without doubt," answered the Rainbow Man, looking out over the valley. "The prophetic books are quite clear. He will return on the Day of the Lamb, when Tykos is in the left half of the sky, if and only if the trellbuds are blooming and a red goat has eaten gueer-nuts and died." The Rainbow Man pointed to the dead goat before them next to the gueer bush.

"It does not seem that clear to me," complained the plutocrat. The Priest-King's function had been largely administrative for over nine hundred years.

"The thousand years are up. He will come."

The two stood in silence. A bright star flared, then grew above them, then appeared on the sward near the goat.

"Oh, Master, Gatorix! You have come," cried the Priest-King, kissing the god's feet.

"Who be you, mortal?"

"I am Priest-King Ruvan of the Holy Order of Gatorix--your humblest servant." More feet kissing followed.

"Rise, Ruvan, and show me your accomplishments in My Name."

The Priest-King pointed to an army in the valley below. "There, Master, is Your army, the Army of Enlightenment. In a thousand years it has crushed millions of unbelievers." The plutocrat waved towards an abbey on the mountainside. "This is one of Your monasteries, one of thousands of schools, where Your servants glorify You and destroy the works of the unbelievers, rewriting them to be true." The Priest-King indicated a line of slaves traveling on the valley floor. "And there are the slaves of Gatorix, unbelievers who refuse to see the wisdom of Your ways." The rank of beaten men moved off in chains to the sound of cracking whips.

Gatorix, god of brotherly love, shook his head. With a wipe of his Divine Hand, the god removed the army, un-created the monasteries, and evaporated the slaves and slave-keepers. "Shit," He sighed to the Rainbow Man, who stood by, quietly watching. "I will have to try again. Tell the next one I will be back in a thousand years."

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